Three years is a short time to build a perpetual machine. However, we did it. Three years of heartaches, of joy, of love. Three years of laying the foundation of a strong edifice that can withstand the tempests of time. We have done it, I know we did. So, even though a couple have gone/will go to a different country, through the powers of technology, we can ultimately communicate with them. That's no problem. They will still feel the warmth and the love. They'll miss us physically, but we all are emotionally attached to our "moshie" umbillical cord we did not dare to shed after being expelled from the MaSci uterus that housed us for three years.
This promise of neverending connection with the ones who will leave us is not the thing that saddens me deeply. Because of a more extravagant, more special event (their departure), we sometimes forget the less visible but the equally important people in our lives. Why would we value the people who will never leave us? Why bother? They would still be there forever and ever... And so we think.
I am not saying that we should not make the people who are leaving (or who have left) less special. I am even proposing the contrary. Let us not only value those who will leave us but also those who are left here with us.
Truly, we sometimess look too far. We're here. We need you.
We enjoy each others company but for the most part, we avoid it. We pretend there is nothing there. We're just friends. Every time we meet, it's awkward at first. We check our guard and put up the walls. We're just friends that's all. We text each other often, and always have a good excuse for doing so. Do friends need an excuse? You remind me that "We must be careful", "We can't go there", you say. The rules have been set, and we live by them.
We sit and talk for hours, two sets of black eyes interlocked and neither turns away. I hang on your every word. Your simple presence in a room, gives my life a purpose. Add your voice and a smile, and I melt away. The thought of you touching me makes my body scream out with yearning. But we're just friends, right? Why do I feel it's more? Are we in self-inflicted denial? Our past hurts have made us so afraid, We'd rather be lonely than to take that chance again.
I wish I could tell you how I really feel inside. That I'd be willing to take that chance To be more than just your friend. I know you sense this, as I do, but it's easier to pretend. Saying it would make it real and you'd run away and hide from me.
So I'll try and keep the flood gates closed and be content that you let me be, Just your friend.
“How could you make someone fall in love with you without affecting free will?”
I always thought this line from one of my all time favorites Bruce Almighty was very compelling… Well not so much now. Now, that this thought suddenly popped in my head as I was about to lie in the comfort of my bed, i then came to ask the question-“is the end/real purpose of loving someone that of the loved person to fall for you?”
Well the meaning of the question might be vague (esp sa lahat ng nag philo 1.. hehe). But to rephrase the question i end up with, “ is the real purpose of loving to be loved?” If that is so.. oh well I’m not sure tlga.. Basta sure ako na I do not completely agree to this. This is because as I have learned and experienced and realized- loving someone is not primarily just to be loved, however loving someone would have the purpose of making the loved person happy and simultaneously doing so improving or a better word perfecting ourselves. magulo?? Hehe basta perfecting ourselves because we are created in this world and alive at this moment for the highest purpose that is to love…whether be it our family, friends, enemies and ciempre God.
And speaking of God, I would like to start with Him our Almighty Father. As in papa, daddy, creator basta ang Poong Maykapal. Siya na kung saan lhat tayo ay nagmula at ang buhay at pagmamahal nagsimula. And to start, I would like to think on how God wants us to love…Him. Would God require us to pray even 15 minutes a day for His own good? Would he want us to be good all our life just for the sake that evil offends Him? Clearly no! As someone told me, whatever you do God will not be indebted to you for whatever you did. So what’s the point of praying, being good or simply loving God??? For starters, well to repay Him nga! Since we are here with everything we have because of His love we return it with love. I’m sure God is happy with that. However to end with that is absurd! God is even more very happier if we do these things for the sole reason of loving: To reserve a fixed time for Him (sorry hindi ko pa rin po constantly nagagawa to hehehe), to remember Him in times of need or just in any time of our life, to sacrifice all these for Him and to endure life for Him. God is so much happier because He did not waste a creation or to be more real a life because as that life lived he loves. Eh to love is our main purpose di ba. God does remember us each day not so much that each day we remember Him. He does remember us each day so that each day we love and then get to remember God because He made us capable of loving freely. And remember that He is never outdone in generosity especially in giving us love. OK!?!? = )
And ciempre father’s day di ba. Of course ito nga ay mga thoughts for my dadas (madaming dada). Well of course my papa is human. Normal. Matangkad. Mabait. Hindi super gwapo..of course kay mama eh.. (ma ano nga ba!?!? ) at ciempre mapagmahal! We had a share o a lot of things: money, mama, t-shirt (rar!), car (c porsche), surname, higaan nung na-stroke siya, food, shake na timpla niya, misunderstandings, opinions, talks, sad times, happy times and our lives. I of course am very eager to greet him a Father’s day!kaso puyat na ako para maunahan siya sa pag gising (LUSOT!) And then thank him for all the swell things he did, does and will do. And of course give him the t-shirt na binili ni mama sa divisoria at ciempre naki ride lang sa gift ang matalinong bunso. The point is with this many words pwede naming sabihing mahal ko siya. But I still would prefer going on with all the trouble and then say I love him. We love him! Bakit? WHY? It is just for the simple reason that he loves us very much! He loves us to the point of being a strong foundation to this family. He loves us to the point that bakas sila ni mama sa… basta bakas! He loves us to the point that he can't think straight when kuya comes home and endures a mild stroke everytime kuya goes back to work. He loves us to the point that si ate maits eh anak na niya. (KASALAN NA!! ay DAN..DAN..DANDAN!!!). He loves us to the point na chip in ata siya sa reception. (sa batangas o laguna?? Sa gitna!!!) haha. He loves us such that kahit wala pa akong girlfriend nang-aasar yan (hoping one day mahinto na Alaska niya).[si ate maits din kc baka ngwawala na sa sobrang hirit ko sa kanya]. And if this would go on..i’m sure sa page ng listahan, sa baba ng papel, doon sa hangin sa baba noon nakasulat ang he loves us so that my family loves me. That’s why special tlga itong taong ito!Happy Father’s day! May you lengthen your patience! May you have a healthy life! and may you have a healthy long love!!
And ciempre to my granddads.. i was young when you joined God there way up there. Miss na kayo ni lola!!! But I am very sure that the love you showed to your apo was so warm that makes me on this day still remember you po. And still there up you still love us here.
Of course, sa daddies ng mga taong important sa akin. Ganun din po! HAPPY FATHER”S DAY!!! I’m very sure you’ve done so well to raise these good, studious, party-goers, crammers, kalog, diligent, GRABE, awesome, loyal, true, unblue, smiling, secretive friends of mine!!!! Sigurado pag may alam po ako, bahala na po! Happy father’s day to your dad!!!!!!!!!
“How could you make someone fall in love with you without affecting free will?” you really do not have to exhaust all your life just to make him/her to… love to be loved.. pizza love lang??? love pizza because it gives you that awesome taste and nakakbusog pa..un lng.. love to make the person you love happy and grow! Bonus na siguro ung to be loved-which is I really think very possible when you try hardest enough loving!!!!!
Good morning!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!A very lovely father’s day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nde ko masyado napansin, isang buwan na pala. pra kasing kahapon lang e. natatandaan ko pa rin ang usapan nung gabing un. nde ko madescribe. kakaiba. kapag naaalala ko, naiiyak akong natutuwa. baliw na nga cguro. minsan nde na maintindihan ang sarili. para kasing nahati sa dalawa [shux nmn... kalahati na nga nahati pa.. haha]. sabi masaya na sa mga nangyari, nangyayari, at handa na ring tanggapin kung ano man ang mangyayari. pero bakit ganun? may bumubulong pa rin na malungkot daw. kamiss kc e. ang nakakainis pa dun, may mumunting puwang sa amygdala (sheesh… sisihin ang psych… hehe) na umaasa pa rin sa kanya. ganun ba talaga? kasama ba talaga un dun? cguro nga.
hay. napaka-uncertain talaga ng buhay sa mundo noh? isang moment sobrang saya mo. tapos ung kasunod lungkot naman. kung sa bagay, pano mo nga naman malalaman ang masaya kung walang malungkot?
o well. life goes on. mas may maganda pang mangyayari sa buhay kinabukasan. may iba pang plano c Tatay.
hay. d ako makapaniwalang seryoso ako dun. talaga. o balon. gang ngaun nmn e. d p rn ngbabago. d nmn un nawawala d b? kinakalimutan or binabalewala lang daw sabi ng ilang writers sa peyups.. hehe.. pero mali un… dapat nde dinedeny… according nga kay ginel, “kung ano man ang nararamdaman mo, namnamin mo!” hehehe… tama!!!
…hmmm.. at sa kanya naman… if ever mabasa mo man ‘to (di ko lang alam kung pano dahil nde ko naman sau nabanggit ang url nito), ok lang. alam mo naman d b. nabanggit ko naman sau yan e. onga pla, gus2 kong ulitin… salamat sau… pnasaya mo ko… sa ngaun nmn… pinapahalagahan ko ang bawat araw [teka… kanta ba i2? hahaha] masaya na rin naman ako sa mga nangyayari at sa kung ano man ang meron satin ngaun… khit walang commitment… sabi mo nga d b, malalaman din natin yan sa tamang panahon…
zut! ang drama ah! hehe… ngaun lang naman ako nagsalita 2ngkol d2 e… pagbgyan na… un lng…
julai
the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return… Moulin Rouge…
1. Nag-escort ako sa Santacruzan sa province namin. sobra talaga akong pinilit. Promise! sikat na sikat ako! fame!!!!
2. i guess, tumibok na ulit ang heart ko. BAGBAG talaga. i met her sa CovCourts. just be happy for me...
3. may bago na akong fans club. nagturo kasi ako ng CHEM last summer sa mga incoming third year HS students. oh well. i can't help it. dumadami na talga sila. ang lakas ko!
4. sa pagstart ng bagong semester, TGIS(tiis gutom ipon salapi) days are back!!! protuna! etstrepek challenge! atbp food struggles!
5. i am so obsessed with HALE! potek!
mga repapips, kitakita tau sa next inuman! nga pla, nung nag-outing ang block ko, nag-inuman kami. guess what? ako ang pinakamatibay!!! iba na talaga ang ngawa ng samahan natin!!! para sa inyo ang tagy na to!
Well, just want to share...My monitor is borderline-buster. Arggh. It really does hurt. I do have to get this fixed soon or my life would really end. Then again, a brand new one would be nice. Oh yeah I forgot, I don't have the money to buy a brand new one with school and dorm fees and all. Maybe i'll just drop out of school haha. Nah.
This goes out to all: If any of you have a spare and working digital monitor at home....pehram na lang!!! haha
Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me--I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong. Your arms are round me tight, everything it felt so right. Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong. Now I can’t breathe, no I can’t sleep, I’m barely hanging on.
[Chorus] Here I am, once again, I’m torn into pieces. Can’t deny it, can’t pretend, just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside, but you won’t get to see the tears I cry--behind these hazel eyes.
I told you everything, opened up and let you in--you made me feel alright--for once in my life. Now all that’s left of me, is what I pretend to be heeh, so together but so broken up inside. Coz I can’t breathe, no I can’t sleep, I’m barely hanging on.
(Repeat Chorus) Swallow me then spit me out; for hating you I blame myself. Seeing you it kills me now; no I don’t cry on the outside--anymore, anymore. (Repeat Chorus 2x)
Am I real? Do the words I speak before you Make you feel That the love I have for you Will see no ending?
Well, if you look into my eyes Then you should know That you have nothing here to doubt Nothing to fear And you can lay your questions down 'Cause if you'll hold me We can fade into the night And you'll know
The world could die And everything may lie Still you shouldn't cry 'Cause time may pass But longer than it'll last I'll be by your side
Take my hand And gently close your eyes So you could understand That there's no greater love tonight Than what I've for you Well, if you feel the same way for me Then let go
We can journey to a garden no one knows Life is short, my darling Tell me that you love me
So we can fade into the night And you'll know The world could die And everything may lie But you won't cry 'Cause time may pass And everything won't last But I'll be by your side Forever by your side So you won't cry
A stray bullet hit me.. And I think that I would never overcome the pain that I feel..
High school came and I had my share of friends.. 1st yr.. I celebrated my birthday in my house.. ok cya..masaya kahit na selected people lang ang andun..sbgay mejo onti pa lang kilala ko.. 2nd yr.. I celebrated sa Mcdo.. with the mascot and all..kiddie party nga eh duuhh.... hapi nmn kc andun na kayo.. pero kulang pa rin.. 3rd yr.. birthday ko nnmn.. sa arcade nmn ngaun sa rob.. free token nmn.. pero lam nyo.. para lang ako nung machine na labas ng labas ng token.. sa sobrang saya nyo nga nakalimutan nyong birthday ko e.. only a few thanked me.. 4th yr.. Tokyo-tokyo.. mejo late na nga natapos ang kainan natin.. nung uwian na.. umiyak ako.. I never stated my reason.. pero un talga ay dahil wala doon ang mga taong ineexpect ko na andun.. (not to say tama c json.. ang mga early celebrants lang ang nagkakaron ng under the table thingie. Haha!)
eto na college na.. still I chose to celebrate my birthday with YOU.. na isa yatang malaking pagkakamali.. alam ko na madalas kong sinasabi na di nmn ganon ka special ang 18th birthday dahil kagaya ng ibang birthday..once in a lifetym rin lang un.. once ka rin nmn mag-se-17, mag-si-16..diba.. pero birthday ko pa rin un.. at gusto kong icelebrate sana kasama kau sa isang outing..
pero wala.. ilang buwan ko na ring inisip yang outing na yan.. pero wala akong napala.. 1st tym ay sinabi nyo na inde kau makakapunta dahil may family outing, may ginagawa pa sa school.. etc.. inintindi ko kaya nagpalit ng date.. 2nd tym ganon pa rin ang mga rason.. and I sooooooo hate the line.. “sasama lang ako kung maraming sasama” hay.. nakakainis.. at kulang pa daw ang tym para magpaalam.. etc.. argghh…and to think nagleave na ang mama ko sa office para sa date na sinet ko..
ayokong mag-compare pero alam nyo.. mas madami pang sasamang up friends (as in ung kakikilala ko lang) ko kesa sa moshies.. ang hirap isipin.. ganon ba talga un? Kapag matagal na kayong magksma, u get too comfortable na lang na i-take for granted ung tao na un.. masakit talga.. sobra.. I felt so unappreciated..parang wala man lang effort sa part nyo to make me happy on my special day.. daig ko pa ang binagsakan ng mundo..
baka sabihin nyo oa ako..oa na kung oa..bitter na kung bitter.. pero eto ako.. umaatend pa rin ako ng birthday ng member ng moshies kc I want to let that person know na naappreciate ko ang invite..and another is that.. ayokong mafeel nya ung nafeel ko.. hay..
mapapatungan din tong sinulat ko.. at alam kong sa susunod kong birthday ay limot nyo na ang mga pinagsasbi ko.. pero ayos lang.. ang tanga ko at inabot pa ng apat na taon para malaman ko ang halaga ko sa inyo.. tama na baka kung ano pang masabi ko..
next year I will still celebrate my birthday.. pero next year.. kilala ko na kung cno ang iimbitahin ko..
baka di nyo pa ako kilala.. c M to.. c M LANG naman to..
the bullet came from YOU..my moshies family.. the wound may heal.. but the scar will not disappear…
